Relocating to France: Embracing Family and Facing Challenges

In 2023, Lin Koh, along with her family, embarked on a journey from the bustling Bay Area to the serene landscapes of Southern France to take care of her mother-in-law, grappling with Alzheimer’s.

A New Chapter in France

I was raised in Singapore before moving to the United States at a young age, eventually making my home in the vibrant Bay Area. There, I met Adalbert, my husband, and we started a family. Adalbert flourished in the tech industry while I held positions at giants like Facebook and Adobe. Despite the Bay Area's allure with its perfect weather, rich cultural tapestry, and delightful cuisine, its steep living costs prompted our move.

Deciding to Leave California

The decision to relocate stemmed largely from the declining health of my mother-in-law, who resides in France. Observing her struggle with Alzheimer’s made us realize it was time to be closer. Our children, ages five and seven, were part of this decision too. We wanted them to experience life change while they were young and adaptable, hoping to find a more harmonious lifestyle where family came before gadgets.

Navigating Visa Requirements

Transitioning to life in France was eased by our eligibility for a 'vie privée et familiale' visa, granted to spouses of French citizens. This visa process, although straightforward, required us to organize the 'livret de famille' — an essential family registry document in France. This step paved the way for not just residency but also employment rights, easing the transition significantly.

Preparation and Farewell

As a family, we went through a rigorous preparatory phase — storing belongings, selling a car, and getting our pet ready for the journey. Our Santa Clara home was rented out, leaving us with a tight six-week schedule before departing. Bidding farewell to dear friends and family was undoubtedly the most challenging part of leaving.

Adapting to a New Life

Settling in Fuveau, a town near Aix-en-Provence, we initially rented a house before buying our own. While the cost of living here is higher compared to other French regions, it is more manageable than back in California. We enrolled our children in local schools, where they quickly picked up French, demonstrating their resilience and adaptability. It was vital for us that they retained some English, thus home continued to be an English-speaking environment.

Living Together: A Family Experience

The move also involved adjusting to a multigenerational household. With my in-laws living with us, our family dynamics shifted, demanding more emotional connection between my husband and me. Adalbert took on a larger role, largely because his French proficiency exceeded mine, leading to more seamless handling of everyday matters.

Managing New Dynamics

The household adjustments came with their own set of challenges, particularly concerning privacy and responsibility. Meal preparations and maintaining familial routines became part of the new norm as French lifestyle edges more towards home-cooked meals and frequent trips to local markets. My passion for cookery found new life amidst these changes, as fresh produce here is abundantly available and affordable.

Caring for My Mother-in-Law

Our primary aim for the relocation was to support my mother-in-law amidst her progressing Alzheimer’s, complemented by my husband's innovative approach in creating 'Argoli,' an AI companion designed to engage and support her throughout her days. This has provided vital relief and become an indispensable part of our caregiving routine.

We also sought additional support from 'Petit-fils,' a local caregiving service that aids my father-in-law. This service, along with our family efforts, helps us maintain a balanced environment. Over time, we've adapted to this rhythm of life, blending care responsibilities with family moments.

Emphasizing Family Values

Despite the inherent difficulties of witnessing loved ones age, these experiences have reinforced our understanding of family. Seeing my children naturally take on caregiving roles underscores the nurturing values we strive to instill, reminding us why this move was crucial: placing family at the center of our lives.