Overcoming the Fear of Dining Alone

My surname, Mesa, directly translates to 'table' in English. I often jest that this destined me for a career in hospitality, and indeed it has always seemed that way.

A Childhood of Dinner Parties

Growing up with my grandparents in the Dominican Republic, I was surrounded by a love for hosting. My grandmother took immense pride in setting a gorgeously appointed dining table, complete with vibrant floral arrangements and polished silverware. There was always an extra place setting – an unmarked spot for unexpected guests, she explained, which somehow always got filled.

This upbringing instilled in me a passion for hosting, a skill I carried with me from the Dominican Republic to New York and later to San Francisco.

Hosting in a New City

Upon moving to San Francisco, I began to feel the need to forge new connections. Thus, I embarked on hosting "California Caribbean" dinners for visitors and local startups. My journey kicked off in mid-2015 with a simple video introduction for a travel company, leading to regular gatherings that brought a diverse array of individuals together.

Hosting these parties allowed me to meet people from varying walks of life, breaking down barriers through shared culinary experiences.

Returning to New York

The global upheaval caused by COVID-19 led to significant changes in both global and personal landscapes. This prompted me to return to New York, ending a lengthy house-sharing arrangement. The city felt like uncharted territory upon returning, as many friends had moved away. Arranging meetups proved challenging, prompting a personal confrontation with my fear of solitude.

Discovering the Joys of Solo Dining

Facing the prospect of dining alone was daunting at first. Equipped with a self-made kit—my phone charger, books, journals, and to-do lists—I ventured out solo. This practice nurtured self-reflection and mindfulness, allowing me to enjoy solitary meals and insights into my own habits.

Dining alone has become an opportunity to unwind from the day's chaos, offering moments of introspection free from external judgment. It has also proved productive, turning mealtime into a self-scheduled planner, enabling me to organize thoughts and future plans.

Without the pressure of social dining norms, every meal becomes a leisurely affair, a chance to relish flavors on my terms, encouraging appreciation for the time and effort I invest in myself.