Exploring Life as an Empty Nester: My Six-Month European Adventure
For years, I had no idea what kind of pizza suited me best—not just a triviality, but a glimpse into my life.
My role was to select meals that would satisfy both myself and my four sons, which meant opting for the all-time favorite: giant cheese pizzas, with the occasional pepperoni when feeling adventurous. These were convenient choices for a busy single mom who rarely took the time to consider her own likes.
This may have partly motivated my decision to live alone in Europe after the last of my children headed to college. I yearned to determine my own preferences.
But it wasn't just that. I had long fantasized about experiencing the charm of places like Italy and France. Those vivid dreams sustained me through intense phases of motherhood when even mundane errands felt daunting.
Europe seemed an unreachable dream from our rural milieu, making air travel feel similarly distant.
This article is a contribution to our series on Adult Gap Years, featuring narratives from individuals taking extended timeouts to rediscover and reevaluate their lives.
Breaking Free from Comfort Zones
Despite my fears about leaving, staying felt more daunting—waiting around to feel whole only when my sons stopped by.
Dismissing fear, I purchased a plane ticket to Rome, funded by my tax return. With my laptop, I embarked on a remote working journey, enabling me to find temporary homes.
I began this odyssey in a snug studio in Tivoli, near Rome. Then, I spent a month in Avignon, France, and later settled in Belfast, Northern Ireland. I chose these locations based largely on tips from friends and affordable Airbnb options. I was clueless about the international terrain but eager to explore.
Over six months, I discovered my identity beyond the label of 'mom'. I learned the art of making genuine friends.
In Italy, I joined a hiking group and befriended a local who soon became pivotal in bridging our languages, as my Italian language skills evolved—a process fraught with feeling awkward yet truly myself.
Embracing a Newfound Freedom
I strolled through neighborhoods, enjoying silent contemplation while riding trains, absorbing museum ambiance, and sipping wine.
Mornings were spent in courtyards, observing children at play and locals engaging in communal activities like filling water, all without self-consciousness.
The allure of returning home often tempted me, but discovering new places where I missed my kids was more manageable than at home. My ventures represented a choice for myself.
Leaving Italy for Avignon cushioned me in a way. A slight familiarity with French and the city's inviting demeanor made for a soft landing.
Meeting fellow mothers transitioning to new phases gave me a sense of camaraderie. Despite evolving, their dedication to their children was unshakable, a quality I saw in myself.
That was the essence of those six months: the ability to recreate myself while embracing who I was, my maternal roots included. I was evolving and growing.
In Belfast, writing became my solace. Solo hikes up Cave Hill and trips to the Giant's Causeway were routine, often followed by relishing seafood near the ocean.
Each day held new and old pleasures—yoga, music evenings, cozy reading sessions at the tavern, and, importantly, a chance to continue writing.
I completed a book during this time, something afforded only by the quiet and peace I hadn't had in ages, truly stepping back into my life.
Near the end of my journey, I invited my sons to join me. Together, we revisited Rome's landmarks—they saw the changes in me not just as their mother but also as an adventurer, a writer, and a newfound pizza aficionado.
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