When Holiday Stress Hits, Remember: You're in Control

As the holiday season arrives, a slew of responsibilities can turn a joyous month into a stressful ordeal, especially if you're striving for a flawless, picture-perfect celebration. Psychotherapist Niro Feliciano, who is also an accomplished author, shares valuable insights for minimizing stress and enhancing joy during this festive season.

In her adult years, Feliciano's holiday routine was packed: hosting family gatherings, writing out greeting cards, shopping for presents, decorating, and even preparing treats for Santa's reindeer—all while juggling her work commitments and family life with four children.

The effort to craft a perfect holiday environment left Feliciano feeling burned out and detached by the time the holidays arrived.

Strategies for a Calmer Holiday

One Christmas morning stands out to her vividly. Exhausted from the previous night's preparations, she struggled to stay awake as her kids opened their gifts. "I realized I wasn't present in the moment," she recalls. "I was missing out on the essence of the celebration."

This epiphany led Feliciano to compose a book focused on being mindful during the holidays. The book, released in November, provides actionable advice and thought prompts to alleviate stress and nurture deeper connections during this time of year.

Many of these suggestions merely involve slight changes in mindset. She shared some of these strategies during a conversation with Life Kit.

Prioritize What Matters Most

Acknowledging that you can't possibly tackle everything on your holiday list is key. Instead, focus on what truly resonates with you.

Feliciano suggests pinpointing the events or activities that hold real significance, whether it's Christmas morning with family, a festive dinner, or attending a seasonal performance. Fully immerse yourself in those moments.

Reframe your to-do list by identifying not just tasks, but activities that bring joy. Instead of listing chores, focus on what you wish to experience or create.

Focus on Joy, Not Obligation

The activities you engage in should feel less like duties and more like privileges. This shift can alleviate some pressure.

Traditions don't have to be adhered to if they don't contribute to your happiness. Feliciano encourages letting go of practices that do not spark joy in order to explore more fulfilling activities.

For instance, if sending holiday cards feels like a task, consider skipping it this year and investing your energy in something more personally rewarding instead.

Set Realistic Expectations

Consider the assumptions and standards you set for your holiday celebrations. If they often lead to disappointment, it may be time to adjust them to reflect a more attainable reality.

For example, if family gatherings are a source of stress because they seldom meet your ideals of harmony, remind yourself that some discord is normal when many people gather together.

A little tension is expected during extended family time, but there will still be plenty of moments of joy.