Full-Time Caregiving: Balancing Parental Care and Self-Wellness

Dawnita Brown, now 43, graciously administers water to her mother, Joan Cain, aiding her with medications. This routine illustrates Brown’s commitment as the primary caregiver for her parents in their Baltimore home.

Initially, Brown's journey took her from a settled career into volunteering. Leaving behind her government role in 2016, she radically shifted her life to join the Peace Corps in Eswatini, an enriching experience that almost transitioned into a permanent position.

However, 2018 marked another turn. Following a dire health scare as her mom suffered a brain stem stroke, Brown returned, braced for the worst. Yet, Joan’s recovery came with complex implications for her future care, prompting Brown to embrace the role of full-time caregiver.

The lack of sufficient care options in available facilities convinced Brown to move her mom back home, where family photos now serve as comforting relics, reflecting joyful milestones like Joan’s 70th birthday.

Given the rising numbers of aging adults in need of long-term care, Brown’s experience is part of a larger narrative. Many families, like hers, often find themselves in roles exceeding half a trillion dollars in unpaid caregiving nationally — a massive contribution by family members.

In managing her parents' needs, Brown strategically combines resources, from Medicare to her mother's pension. Her preparation for the Peace Corps left her debt-free, enabling her financially despite over a decade without steady employment or retirement savings.

Brown’s home bears warmth and a sense of history, housing precious memories. The house itself supports her routine, where she navigates constant stair climbing to assist both her mother upstairs and her father occupying the basement.

Despite not being her mom's partner anymore, Brown’s father, Bill Lee Brown, moved in 2024 due to his multiple myeloma, showcasing the unpredicted complexity of caregiving.

Every single day sees Brown bustling between tasks, from medication management to cooking and scheduling healthcare appointments, encapsulating a caregiving role she never envisaged yet finds herself deeply committed to.

Beyond caregiving, Brown established 'Binti,' a support group for caregivers seeking solidarity and relief. The Swahili word for daughter symbolizes their shared experiences and unique challenges.

The group, inspired by Brown's needs, focuses on building community through planned activities, stress alleviation, and skill sharing, emphasizing the rewarding yet demanding aspect of caring for family.

A focal point for Binti is advocating for caregiver breaks, highlighting the necessity to carve out space for self-care amidst the responsibilities.

Brown elucidates on personal wellness encompassing more than superficial treatments — incorporating healthcare visits, therapy, meditative breathing, and pre-day routines as vital to her self-care regimen.

Even amid her positive outlook, Brown acknowledges bad days, like the recent instance when a yoga session became her uplifting tool.

Her sanctuary exists in her backyard, transformed into a personal retreat with repurposed décor — aptly named her oasis. This space offers rejuvenation, a testament to her resolve in balancing caregiving duties with personal health.

Brown concludes with a reminder that caregiver health directly impacts those they care for, underscoring self-care as crucial. Her commitment to maintaining her own well-being reflects the delicate balance integral to caregiving.