For a Long Time, I Felt Misunderstood by My In-Laws, Until a Trip Changed Everything

Initially, our families were an enigma to each other due to vast cultural differences.

Being together with my in-laws in Bulgaria made us really connect like family for the first time.

My spouse is Jewish, hailing from the New England area of America. I am an immigrant, having moved from Eastern Europe.

Raised in an Orthodox Christian environment after being baptized in Bulgaria, our paths crossed with my husband, who had his bar mitzvah and attended Hebrew school. Needless to say, our cultural and religious backgrounds are poles apart.

Only when my in-laws visited Bulgaria did they begin to grasp the essence of my culture.

This first visit by them was a significant milestone in our relationship.

Adapting to Each Other's Families was an Eye-Opening Experience

My family follows traditions like speaking Bulgarian and enjoying typical Balkan dishes such as the moussaka dish with eggplant, and banitza, a pastry filled with cheese.

During festive periods, my husband engages in Bulgarian folk dance, horo, often likened to the enthusiastic cultural displays in 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding'.

In contrast, my husband’s family expresses themselves with subdued dry wit that required some acclimation on my part.

Their dinner spaces are formally set, yet during card games, things get intensely competitive.

Although our upbringings diverged, we share a central value in prioritizing family.

Marrying into a non-Bulgarian family who doesn’t converse in my native tongue caused anxiety about losing my cultural roots.

Acceptance from my husband's family meant acknowledging my heritage, beyond just seeing pieces of my family’s journey.

Despite over ten years of knowing each other, I sensed gaps in their understanding of my identity.

Finally, Showing Them My World

By 2020, with remote work, my spouse and I relocated to Sofia, Bulgaria.

Due to travel barriers, it was tough for my in-laws to visit initially — they were also not frequent travelers.

Last fall, they surprised us with their decision to visit, which made me both eager and nervous about their experience.

We crafted a balanced itinerary to give them a taste of the real Bulgaria, using Sofia as a hub while exploring more about the country.

They experienced the local cuisine and scenery, traveled to the wine regions, historic monasteries, and ancient towns.

The Journey That Strengthened Our Bonds

Travel tends to be a true test of relationships, and in our case, it fortified them.

Their willingness to embark on this distant journey had immense significance.

Having engaged with my culture, they began to appreciate its fullness, not just superficial parts.

Whenever we reunite in the U.S., conversations are filled with cherished memories from our Bulgarian adventures.

Little reminders of these moments are present in their home, representing our shared experiences.

Our fusion of cultures doesn't just add depth to our experiences, it unites us in a profound way.