At 53, I Revamped My Life with a Gap Year I Missed in College

Kelly Benthall, upon early retirement at 53, embarked on an adventurous year-long journey across the globe alongside her spouse. She views this escapade as her belated 'gap year,' rectifying a youthful experience she never had. This journey became a profound exploration, unveiling a newfound sense of belonging far from home.

Returning to My Roots

Originating from the East Coast, I frequently moved growing up. By senior year in Texas, I was the 'new kid' once more amidst peers with lifelong friendships. Everyone seemed to fit into a mold, leaving me pondering my place as I tried to understand 'everyone else.'

My college years were spent at Texas A&M University, a large institution nestled in a quaint community where kindness and tradition thrived. I crafted a fulfilling life in Texas, marrying a Texan, nurturing children, and advancing a career while conforming to cultural expectations.

Yet, there was always an underlying unease, akin to a newcomer seated in class mid-year. My demeanor was often cynical, dismissing sorority life and posing unsettling questions in academic settings. I craved validation, learning to blend in subtly.

A Late-In-Life Adventure

By 53, I embraced a fresh start. A personal 'gap year' unfolded 35 years post-college. My husband, Nigel, and I left our enduring oil and gas careers behind, reevaluating life's necessities. We decided that a grand home and permanent roots were superfluous, opting for a plan driven by spontaneity and weather.

Our journey commenced in Dubrovnik, Croatia, cultivating mutual solitude. Next was Lecce, Italy, residing atop a café, waking to the aroma of focaccia. Seville, Spain, beckoned us to extend our unwinding — indulging in unabashed delight even if it entailed late nights and carefree laughter.

Mauritius offered serene ocean views and the luxury of guilt-free stillness. The UK saw us frenziedly exploring eight cities in a mere six weeks, yet Ireland greeted us with its healing rains, musical spirit, and heartwarming generosity.

Discovering My Identity in Unknown Lands

Conversations abroad rarely started with career inquiries. Instead, strangers asked, "Who exactly are you?" or "What brings you here?" Relationships formed intentionally and sincerely.

I began to inquire more and justify myself less, shedding layers I donned to fit in over many years.

Living authentically became liberating. Forsaking the need for acceptance, I noticed an increase in genuine connections. The expansive world beyond the American South felt more accommodating to my true self. Not being a native provided freedom to be unique.

Back home, eccentricities often stumped people. Overseas, they intrigued and invited curiosity. Importantly, I realized I didn't need to shrink myself to belong; I could extend and find my place.

Building a Home in Motion

Our travels crafted a nomadic home, woven from foreign furnishings, shared feasts, and episodes reminding me of my core identity long before external judgments mattered.

Finally securing my gap year underscored a vital lesson: The journey of reinvention requires no formal consent.