Six Years Without Kissing: A Deliberate Choice

It's been over half a decade since I last kissed someone. It's not due to a lack of affection or desire for companionship but rather a conscious choice following the end of an abusive relationship.

The End of a Constant Cycle

From my teenage years up until recently, my life was a series of continuous relationships. At 16, I dove into my first romance, an initiation into an unbroken chain of dating through early adulthood.

During my college years, I believed I had found a lifelong partner. However, it was at 24 when I truly thought I met 'the one' through Match.com. His swift move to join me in Long Island symbolized the speed of our romance. Marriage followed two years later, blessed by the arrival of our two sons.

Healing After Emotional Trauma

Our marriage came to an end in 2019, marking a pivotal moment as he became the last person I shared physical intimacy with. Contrary to public opinion, I embrace this choice and dismiss any notion of loneliness. However, this decision followed the realization of having been in an emotionally abusive marriage.

Throughout those years, I endured belittlement and a manipulative dynamic that had me constantly anxious and lost in survival. Recognition of this came only after leaving, with the help of insights from familial support and social media content addressing emotional abuse.

Choosing Personal Peace Over the Dating Scene

Currently, dating is not a priority. Being a solo parent and business owner leaves little room for the antics of the dating world. The idea of seeking out nightlife just doesn't appeal to me, especially living with my family where the privacy of my own past is all too evident.

My focus remains on enjoying evenings at home, indulging in reading, crafting, and savoring the company of my children. It's a liberating change from navigating romantic expectations.

Reclaiming Self and Relationships

Releasing the need for male validation has been freeing, and six years without physical intimacy has allowed me to rediscover myself through therapy and introspection. I'm fortunate to relish support from my family and friends, which reinforces my emotional security.

Confounding Assumptions of Loneliness

Despite assumptions of solitude, I don't feel untouched. Regular health practices like massages have helped nurture self-connection. My circle of family and friends provides a reliable support system, assisting my journey towards self-reconnection.

Critiques about lifestyle choices, even from professionals, don't sway me. My approach to life includes nurturing my environment, maintaining quality well-being, and valuing who I am as a complete person.

Hope for Future Love

There’s confidence that, at the right time, a meaningful romantic relationship will come along, ideally bringing a considerate stepfather for my sons, reminiscent of the enriching relationship I've had with my own stepdad.

Taking time now to reflect and heal ensures that when I am ready to step into love again, it will be at the right moment and with the right person.