Our Decision to Build a Career in Washington, DC, and the Longing for Family Proximity

During law school in Washington, DC, my husband and I crossed paths. Each of us had relocated to the city for educational pursuits, not expecting to make it our permanent home.

Career vs. Family: The Initial Decision

In 2002, as we discussed marriage, thoughts of moving to either Philadelphia, my hometown, or St. Paul, his birthplace, seemed plausible. Yet, we recognized that Washington, DC, held superior professional prospects. Years of study had left us burdened with educational debt, making a successful career launch critical.

Though we yearned for children, the urgency of our careers took precedence. We both secured satisfying positions and settled into the routine of life in the capital.

A Shift in Priorities with Parenthood

The arrival of our first child, who faced significant health challenges, dramatically shifted my priorities. Maintaining a typical work schedule became impractical as we navigated her complex medical needs. The uncertainty of her survival to her first birthday forced a reassessment of life's priorities.

Leaving my career as a full-time attorney was a difficult choice, but I transitioned into a mix of part-time and freelance work to make room for family commitments.

Rooted but Restless

My husband’s flourishing career provided necessary stability for our family’s needs, especially given our daughter’s condition. We owned a beloved home and had a supportive network of friends in DC, which made moving closer to relatives less appealing.

After welcoming three more children, the notion of uprooting our family and starting anew seemed increasingly daunting, reinforcing our decision to remain in Washington, DC.

Reflecting on Our Choices as the Years Pass

Our children, now between 10 and 19, and my parents, in their 70s, prompt me to reconsider our earlier choices. Recognizing the limited impact on my career had we lived elsewhere, the potential benefits of a family-centric upbringing weigh heavily.

Our life in DC is filled with cultural and recreational outlets, providing a rich environment for our children's growth. Nonetheless, the absence of extended family nearby generates a sense of missed opportunities for deeper bonds with relatives.

The guilt intensifies knowing my father's health declined away from us, culminating in his passing, while my mother now faces solitary challenges. Balancing the needs of my children left scant room for addressing my parents’ needs.

Final Synopsis and Lingering Wishes

Though our lives in Washington, DC, are deeply entrenched, a lingering wish remains—to have chosen family closeness over professional prospects. If resetting the clock were possible, the draw of familial proximity would prevail.