Millennial Hustle Culture Shaped My Early Career, But My Daughter Changed My Priorities

Years ago, I overheard my young daughter apologize to her toys for being unable to chat – she was pretending to be on a work call.

Hearing this, a statement I’d repeatedly said to her, struck me deeply. That pivotal moment led me to reconsider my approach to parenting.

I was determined not to perpetuate the cycle of hustle and relentless productivity for her. I wanted her to have a healthier view of success, which meant reassessing my own habits.

In my Latin background, or as a child of immigrants, seeing family continually labor to survive is common. Among us, it's often said immigrants juggle a dozen jobs, and this wasn't exaggerated.

I grew up with the notion that relaxation was a luxury afforded only by the wealthy. Working tirelessly is simply necessary to provide for one's loved ones.

This intense work ethic propelled me through San Francisco’s dynamic tech scene, where hustle culture and the 996 schedule are prevalent.

The Grip of Toxic Productivity

While the hustle might advance you professionally, it also has a downside, affecting personal health and connections. After years of seemingly nonstop work, I faced health issues such as digestive troubles, dental wear from teeth grinding, irregular cycles, and anxiety.

My value seemed intertwined with relentless labor; this was my way of navigating life's emotional fluctuations, believing it was intrinsic to the American dream.

After becoming a parent during the pandemic, things improved slightly, though ingrained habits proved hard to break.

As a consultant guiding tech firms and consumer brands, balancing multiple projects, personal work limits often faded. My daughter observed long working hours and frequent apologies for work calls.

Redefining Hustle

Hustling seemed a badge of ambition, but I learned it's more a status symbol for some, disguising personal insecurities or systemic issues, explained by psychologist Dr. Mariel Buqué. For many immigrants and BIPOC individuals, it's a survival mechanism and a pathway to upward mobility.

While entrepreneurial success is often linked with hustling, numerous CEOs and investors prefer nurturing family life and well-being.

I wanted to spare my daughter from the frantic, caffeine-fueled pressures and the conflation of career with self-worth. Her toys’ play mirrored my unhealthy behaviors, prompting personal changes.

Aiming for Balance

I now embrace leisurely mornings, establish clear work boundaries, and manage fewer projects. Certain times of day are blocked for family, acknowledging the privilege in making such choices.

My daughter, now five, will hopefully face less pressure to hustle due to a fortunate life start. I wish for her to find satisfaction in work but to stop by evening to cherish her family.

I continue to work diligently and have career deadlines, but I know to prioritize family, especially my child who relies on me.