The Heavy Costs of Our Tribal Nature

Around the globe, we see deep divides: Israel and Palestine, liberals versus conservatives, even sports rivalries like the Mets and the Yankees. We often treat these divisions as if they were natural and inevitable parts of life. This kind of steadfast, almost sacred, loyalty is often assumed to be beneficial, rooted in instincts that have fostered human survival.

The Myth of Inherent Tribes

There's a prevalent belief that humans have always been connected through a need to belong. It's thought that the cooperative spirit was necessary for us to thrive and survive, suggesting that our tribal tendencies were evolutionarily advantageous. However, categorizing humans as naturally tribal oversimplifies the truth.

Consider how children develop. Newborns don't enter the world with any allegiances—whether national, religious, or ethnic. Infants have no innate sense of identity within any group; their initial awareness only revolves around themselves and their immediate needs.

Learning to Fit In

Children pick up language and gradually understand the social cues around them, learning which groups they belong to. While very young, they receive unconditional care, but soon start navigating approvals based on social appropriateness as determined by their caregivers.

Society teaches children to share, to play nicely, and to follow established social norms. They are encouraged to engage with others, moving from individual-focused play to cooperative interactions, shaped significantly by parents and educators.

Adolescence and Identity

As individuals grow, more opportunities arise for forming group affiliations. From schools organizing teams to extracurricular activities, the pressure to fit in becomes a cornerstone of social maturation. Adolescents particularly feel the pressure, as conformity often brings acceptance.

No other aspect of behavior is conditioned on such a vast scale, ingraining the idea that group identity is indispensable for personal development. However, is divergence from the norm truly abnormal?

The Flip Side of Belonging

There's value in the collective, particularly during hardships, and the sense of community can offer essential support. Yet, in our modern era, the very instincts that bind us to our groups also fuel division and discord. Social, political, and even personal divides prove that seeking group belonging doesn't necessarily foster unity.

At what expense do we preserve our collective identity? Belonging should never require cruelty or exclusion. In a world pushing for greater division, we ought to champion empathy and kindness over further tribal segmentation.

Echoing Norwegian playwright Henrik Ibsen, when societal morals decay, it rests on individuals to safeguard genuine morality. We must reject the notion of ingrained tribalism and strive instead for understanding and compassion.