When My Daughter Was 19, She Was Struck by a Car: My Discoveries About Healthcare Authority Came Too Late

In 2017, as my daughter Baylie Grogan approached graduation, she approached me seriously one day.

"Living life trapped in a dysfunctional body is worse than dying," she asserted, making me promise never to allow it.

As she prepared to embark on her pre-medical college journey, I assured her, admitting that such a scenario would be unbearable for me too.

The following year, I found myself confronted with the unimaginable: fighting to uphold my promise to my cherished daughter, who would suffer devastating brain trauma.

Encountering Medical Decisions as Kin

Though Baylie was only 19 and legally autonomous, we, her parents, Scott and I, were sidelined in critical medical decisions following her grievous accident.

Our daughter, facing a grim 1% chance of survival after being hit by a vehicle, was subject to hospital ethics boards, not us, despite our insight into her aversion to an impaired, isolated existence.

Baylie was known for her cheerful, generous nature, with aspirations in medicine. Her affection stretched to her horse, whom she dedicated countless hours to after class.

Facing Goodbye Amid New Beginnings

While expecting my fourth child, Baylie leaned towards the University of Miami for its esteemed equestrian offerings, eagerly returning after a summer back home.

In August, our farewell at her campus dorm stirred tears. Her awareness of my vulnerabilities made her departure poignant.

Her words, 'I adore you, Mom,' echoed, marking our last farewell before a life-altering phone call arrived.

The Unfolding Nightmare in the Operating Room

The Miami-Dade police contacted us with urgency: Baylie was involved in a severe accident requiring immediate presence.

Upon contacting the hospital, we learned she was undergoing surgery, leaving me with speculative fears concerning her injuries, far more dire than a fractured limb.

An Unfathomable Scene

Our arrival at the Miami hospital unearthed a shocking sight—a swollen, unfamiliar body encased in bandages, with grievous head injuries.

Captured on traffic footage, Baylie had crossed a major highway on foot, meeting tragedy while separated from companions.

Confronting Legal Hurdles

The reality was stark: if she could endure, irreparable damage would render her unable to live autonomously, a promise I was bound to prevent.

Our absence of legal standing hindered access to necessary medical details, including potential toxicology insights. Guardianship processes would lag, prolonging our helplessness to act on her behalf.

Without pre-established directives, Baylie lingered on life support needlessly, despite her express wishes to avoid such prolonged suffering.

Steps Towards Final Peace

Stranger-filled committees debated her fate until consensus settled on a palliative path. By late September, Baylie passed with the grace she deserved.

Keeping Baylie's Spirit Alive

Moving forward amidst loss, new family joys emerged, but the ache of Baylie's absence lingers.

In her honor, we created Baylie's Wish Foundation, guiding young adults to secure their medical preferences. Through free resources, we hope to inspire proactive planning, ensuring that our missteps aren't repeated.

Baylie's legacy of kindness persists through our advocacy, reflecting her passion to make a difference.