Relocating to Europe at 40: Finding Motherhood Easier Abroad with My Autistic Daughter

Living in Florida provided me and my daughter, who has cerebral palsy and autism, with a life that was stable but felt monotonous. My routine involved work at my salon, household duties, and evenings lost in Netflix — a cycle that rarely changed.

Despite having a satisfactory life, I longed for deeper connections. Following a difficult divorce, I embarked on a journey of self-healing through travel. My 2015 Paris visit marked the beginning of a transformative experience.

Europe offered me newfound opportunities for meaningful friendships and romantic encounters. On a 2018 trip to Rome with a friend, sitting in a bustling café, I declared my intention to move there, a decision that felt undeniably right.

Within two months, I had all the necessities—an Italian tax ID, a place to live, and a solid plan. Leaving my salon to my sister, I informed my family of my bold move and relocated to Rome with my daughter and dogs.

The Necessity of Embracing Local Languages

Since 2018, our lives have unfolded across Italy, Turkey, and Spain. Each country presented its own unique experiences and obstacles.

Understanding the nuanced local systems and forming a trusted circle, particularly crucial for my daughter, were the main challenges.

Learning the local tongue has always been a priority for me. While some manage without it, I can't fathom residing abroad long-term without grasping the language, as it is vital for deeper integration.

Teaching myself Turkish became essential in Istanbul, where few spoke English. The language barrier could have been daunting, especially during crises like losing my mother to COVID. Friends stepped up, more supportive than ever, guiding me through that ordeal.

Varying Levels of Accessibility for Disabilities

Our experience highlighted that some nations are better suited for people with disabilities than others. Rome, for instance, faced accessibility issues, with frequent elevator breakdowns forcing me to carry my daughter on escalators.

Yet, Rome's sense of community made it safe for my daughter to explore nearby areas independently, granting her a freedom inconceivable back in Florida.

Even post-high school, my daughter continues her education through online courses and immersion in different cultures via world schooling, studying subjects like financial literacy, Spanish, and Japanese.

The Easier Path of Motherhood in Spain

Currently, we live in Málaga, Spain—a vibrant city that blends cleanliness, accessibility, and space without being overwhelming. Our residence, close to the beach, features amenities like tennis courts and pools, all for a reasonable rent.

After the pandemic prompted me to close my salon, I ventured into independent projects, cofounding 'Her Expat Life', a company dedicated to organizing events for women abroad.

The essence of living abroad lies in transcending borders, cultivating a network that offers a sense of belonging anywhere. Spain's emphasis on family supports this, allowing me to prioritize my daughter without guilt.