Discovering Shanghai: A Journey of Healing

In 1987, I set foot in Shanghai for the first time under sobering circumstances—my grandmother had passed, prompting a family trip to China.

For my father, a move to America in the late 1960s made this journey back especially significant. As we settled into my father's family home, my bond with Shanghai began to form through shared meals, new familial connections, and the everyday soundtrack of Mandarin.

My father, a native of Shanghai, found love with my Mexican mother near Los Angeles in the 1970s. Growing up there, I spoke English and Spanish—but not Mandarin, which was part of a past my father seldom shared.

Connecting through Cuisine

Instead, our visits to Chinatown became pivotal in piecing together his world. These trips were essential for sourcing Chinese ingredients before they became globally accessible, and it’s where we celebrated special moments.

Childhood memories include snatching glances of vibrant dragon parades during the Lunar New Year. On birthdays, we savored strawberry cream cakes from Phoenix Bakery.

Caring for My Father

Our relationship strained during my college years, especially after my parents' divorce, but as I entered my late 20s, we started mending those bonds. I fondly recall a Chinese-themed Thanksgiving, featuring my cousin's crab dish rich with onion, egg, and ginger.

Later, after a stroke left him partially paralyzed and speechless on his left side, I stepped in as his caregiver for his final two years. This period was filled with managing medical visits, advocating for his care, and encouraging his rehabilitation.

The Return to Shanghai

When my father passed in 2017, I found myself drawn back to China two years later. Wandering the paths of Shanghai, after the milestone of what would have been his 83rd birthday, felt surreal, as if any turn could reveal his presence.

The city was alive with the scents of fried dumplings and the rhythms of bustling streets, evoking memories of him. Every interaction, from struggling with Mandarin pronunciations to observing daily life, resonated deeply.

Finding Home in Shanghai

Longing to remain in Shanghai, I discovered an opportunity to teach English there while pursuing a career change from journalism to urban planning. This seemed the perfect escape from the high cost of living and unresolved grief in Los Angeles.

From early 2023, Shanghai became my home. The efficiency of life in the city, from digital payments to culinary delights, made it exhilarating. Against the backdrop of my father's familial home, I found solace in a simple bench, savoring shao bing—an irresistible treat.

Walking became a cherished pastime, unlike my life in LA, letting me delve into both the expansive streets and hidden alleys of this complex city where echoes of Old Shanghai still lingered.

This rebuilt life brought happiness. However, as my contract concluded and no job offers materialized to hold me there, I returned to the US—reluctantly leaving behind a place that felt like home.