Living Apart But Staying Close: My Children's Bond with Their Grandmother

Having grandparents nearby can greatly benefit a family. It's wonderful to have someone pop in to read bedtime stories or assist with school runs. Plus, when your babysitter cancels last minute, a grandparent's help is invaluable. Unfortunately, that's not my experience.

My mother resides in Haslett, Michigan, a daunting 1,891 miles from us in Portland, Oregon. She is the sole grandmother to my daughters, ages 6 and 8. Although their grandfather is also around, his age and limited mobility restrict interactions. Therefore, they miss out on those spontaneous moments of physical togetherness with her.

This scenario isn't unique to us. Research from Cornell suggests that approximately one in seven kids has grandparents who live at least 500 miles away. Despite the miles, we've managed to make the distance seem trivial, nurturing a connection that feels immediate and personal.

Overcoming the Challenges of Distant Grandparenting

Being far apart means my mother misses noteworthy milestones like first steps or first words, and it extends beyond those major events. During her visits, my children suddenly showcase newfound skills like hair brushing or shoe-tying. It's these small triumphs that are easy to miss.

Transmitting family heritage is also trickier, albeit not impossible. Recipes like my mother’s great-aunt's German ‘city chicken’—which involves fried meat on a skewer—connect our children to their roots. Traditional lullabies she learned emphasize the generational care in our family. Moreover, old photos on her shelves inspire a sense of belonging through faces resembling theirs.

Creating a 'Next Door' Presence from Miles Away

We have crafted routines to keep the bond strong between visits. From the earliest days, Grandma would chat with the girls over video during their bath times, spinning stories and sharing daily life. Hearing 'Grandma's calling!' sends them scampering with excitement to these digital meetings.

For years now, every Sunday, they share an hour on the Readeo app where they explore a library of books together, complete with live video interaction. This practice has preserved a steady relationship, with Grandma sharing in the joys of their reading achievements.

Cherishing In-Person Visits

There are convenient direct flights from Detroit to Portland, making it feasible for Grandma to join in events like ballet shows, Christmas mornings, and trips to the Oregon coast. She visits us twice annually, while we travel to her once a year.

Visits to her home are treasured by my daughters. They delight in the comfort of her abode, feeling at home under her unique blankets and absorbing the stories behind her artwork. Mornings provide cherished quiet moments, shared just between them before our day begins.

This distance, however challenging, teaches us to maximize our time together, whether it's through festive celebrations, intimate family meals, or simple mornings in pajamas. Our lack of daily physical closeness doesn’t detract from the deep relationship my daughters have with their grandmother, proving that love knows no bounds, not even nearly 2,000 miles.