Our Choice to Keep Our Son's Face Off Social Media and Its Challenges

Shortly after our son arrived this year, my husband and I prepared to have some potentially awkward conversations with family and friends. When our loved ones — parents, siblings, and friends — came to meet our newborn, they couldn't resist taking numerous photos. Although we understood their enthusiasm to share the joy of a new grandson or nephew, we opted to keep his image off social platforms.

The Core Issue: Consent and Beyond

We feel strongly that our child should have control over his online presence. At this early life stage, he cannot express consent about being featured on social media. Until he can verbalize his feelings about public sharing of his personal moments, we're cautious about making that decision for him. We'll reconsider sharing his photos when he can clearly communicate his preferences.

Leah A. Plunkett, in her book 'Sharenthood,' highlights the risks associated with posting children's photos online—ranging from identity theft to bullying and harassment. Her insights underscore the importance of allowing children to shape their own narratives.

Finding a Balance and Managing Mistakes

Expecting everyone in our circle to avoid posting every picture with our son is impractical. My husband's extended family enjoys frequent gatherings where numerous photos are snapped. We didn't want to restrict others from sharing cherished moments just because of our little one's presence in frames.

Our compromise is simple: we only avoid sharing images where our son is identifiable—keeping his back to the camera or using emojis to cover his face. However, mishaps occur. After a family outing, someone inadvertently posted a group shot with our son's face visible on Instagram. We chose not to make a scene and instead, gently reminded them in private about our stance. They apologized and took it down. Such oversights are likely to happen again as he grows, and we're prepared to handle them as they come.

Choice Without Judgment

We hold no ill will toward others who choose to share their children's pictures online. It's a natural inclination to show off our kids' milestones. I can relate—there are many moments I'd love to share online.

When those urges arise, I opt to share updates with family and friend group chats. These are the folks who are truly interested in our son's life progression and reactions via text bring joy.

Reflecting on Our Decision

I often try to see things from our son's perspective. How would he feel knowing countless images from his childhood are online? Could he be embarrassed by some? My parents were spared this dilemma as digital sharing wasn't part of parenting back then.

Whenever I'm uncertain about our decision—particularly when a family member seems sad they can't post a charming selfie with him—I remind myself to consider his future feelings. Will he appreciate our caution, or wish we'd shared more? I believe he'll be grateful, but only time will prove that.